


The one that bite the dust

by espressowords



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-01
Updated: 2014-07-21
Packaged: 2018-01-21 12:26:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1550381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/espressowords/pseuds/espressowords
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek has been missing for one year without telling anyone. Stiles has been living a hellish life since then. He cannot simply forget about the werewolf who made him feel like no one did before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ready to go

“Dude, you need to stop thinking about him.” Scott says. “It’s been one year already. We haven’t received any message from him, so move on.”

He doesn’t know how much those words hurt to Stiles. He keeps telling Stiles to move on, to burn the past. But Stiles can’t do that. It’s impossible. Stiles will never be able to move on. Not after what happened.

“You keep telling me that even though you know what he means to me.” Stiles says. His voice sounds like a needle aiming to Scott’s heart. “Stop it.”

“I am just giving you some advice.” Scott shrugs. “You can do whatever you want, but this is going to kill you.”

“At least the hope is keeping me alive.” Stiles says, with a tired voice.

“I’m tired, Stiles.” Scott says, grabbing his bag from the floor. “I’m gonna leave now.”

Stiles gives him a nod. But he doesn’t say anything. He keeps staring at his cellphone, waiting for a call that will never arrive. He doesn’t notice Scott leaving the room. He is too focused on the cellphone. Too focused on the one that got away.

Someone knocks on the door. The Sheriff. He is the one that has been suffering the most since all this started. He is the one that has had to carry Stiles body to bed whenever he found his son sleeping in the stairs. He is the one that has to force his son to eat, that has to check constantly if his son is asleep. He has to drag Stiles body to school every morning. He has to carry not only the burden of his job, but also Stiles.

“How are you doing, son?” The sheriff asks. He knows his son is not fine, but still, he insists on asking, checking every day if something has changed.

Stiles lifts his head to look at his father. He wonders how he can still care about him after one year. He wonders how long he can live like this. He pities his father for all the effort he has put on him. He pities himself too. But in a different way.

“You know the answer.” Stiles says. He stands up from the bed and takes the keys for the Jeep.

“Are you leaving?” The Sheriff asks. This is something new. His son doesn’t usually leave the house anymore. Scott comes in and out, Allison sometimes too. Even Lydia comes over to check on him. But Stiles never leaves. He stays in his bed, watching the seconds pass on the clock.

“Yeah.” He answers. “There is a party.”

“A party?” The Sheriff asks, confused. This is the first time in one year that his son has shown some interest in something else besides his phone. He doesn’t believe his son, Stiles, is making some progress after all this time. He never thought he’d go outside to do anything different than school.

“At Lydia’s. I thought some fresh air could do some good to me.” Stiles says.

“Good idea, son. I’m working on the night shift today.” The Sheriff wants to hug his son, but he is aware of how peculiar he has got since this started. He hates to be in touch with anyone, he requires personal space. “Have a good time.” He leaves the room waving at his son.

Stiles makes sure his dad is long gone before he leaves the house. He is definitely not going to any party. He knows his father won’t bother asking Lydia nor Scott if the party is real, so he played on safe grounds.

He throws his bag to the back seat of the Jeep and turns the engine on. Stiles is lost. He doesn’t know where to go and he thinks that running away is the best option. He is trapped within himself and he believes that going off some time, will be good. He looks through the front window of the Jeep, trying to see if someone is outside. Not someone, _he._ He desperately seeks to see him one more time.

He grabs the phone, one last time, and calls him. He listens to the beeps, one beep, two beeps, three beeps, four beeps and finally, as always, the voicemail. Stiles hangs the phone before listening to it. He misses his voice way too much and he knows that listening to it will only cause a worse reaction.

He decides to send him one message. After everything, after everything they went through, he could at least answer for once. Only once. Stiles doesn’t ask for more, but at least some sign, some proof that he is alive, that he hasn’t been murdered by anyone.

“You are a douchebag. You are the biggest douchebag I have ever met.” Stiles hesitates before sending the message but, he does it. He sends the message and notices that he is crying, _again._

Stiles is tired of living like this. He wants to go back to the state he used to be. But he is too tied to this town. Too tied to the memories in every corner.

“It all fucking smells like him and I am not even a werewolf.” He says, inside the car. “How can I move on when everything, everything reminds me of him?” he wonders.

He decides that it is time to move on. To let go of the past and run away for some time. He shakes the last thought of remorse, the last thought of doubt in his head and starts driving the Jeep. Away from Beacon Hills.

“I’m leaving.” He sends a message to everyone in the group. Lydia, Allison, Isaac, Kira and Scott. He thinks about sending a message to his father, but he is capable of grabbing his car and search for him all night.

Stiles knows they are going to the cinema tonight, that’s why he’s sure no one will read the message with enough time of catching him. He smiles at himself for being this smart. But at the same time, he hates himself for doing this to his own friends. His best friends.

He turns the radio on, but after listening to a couple of songs. He gets tired. Love songs at midnight are the worst idea ever. It only makes him think about the one he doesn’t want to. His cellphone is beeping. Someone is calling, but he doesn’t pick it up. It could be Scott trying to stop him. Or maybe it’s Lydia trying to reason him. It cannot be Allison, she doesn’t care that much about him.

“What if it’s him?” he wonders. He stops the Jeep in the middle of the road and grabs his phone to check who was calling.

_Private number._

“What the hell?” Stiles says. He never receives private number calls. He never receives calls from anyone. Period. He waits some minutes to see if they call again, but after five minutes waiting, Stiles decides to keep going.

He retakes the route he hasn’t planned, because he hasn’t planned a exact place where he could go. He drives for an hour, and no one has called him. _They must be in the movie. They hadn’t read the message._

Stiles knows his friends care about him, but what if they no longer care? He hasn’t been his friend for a year why would they give a fuck now? Perhaps they are cheering that the dark sheep is gone, perhaps they are making a party now that he is gone.

The phone is beeping again. This time Stiles doesn’t wait for it to stop, he picks the phone quickly and answers it.

“Who is this?” Stiles voice sounds anxious. He doesn’t enjoy private numbers calls.

“Stiles?” the voice says. It’s a woman, the voice sounds familiar.

“Yes, I am. Why? Who are you?”

“I am Melissa. I’m calling from the hospital.”

“Why are you calling me? Why does the hospital number show as private?” Stiles hates calls from the hospital as much as he hates private number calls. Even more.

“They are changing something on the connection. That doesn’t matter now. Where are you?”

The only thing Stiles can think of that question is that Melissa caught him. She discovered him, she knows he’s leaving town so she is trying to stop him.

“At home.” Stiles lies.

“I know you are not at home because I called you there first. I don’t care where you are but you need to come here ASAP.”

“What’s wrong?” Stiles has noticed a worried trace in Melissa’s voice.

“Your father has had an accident.” She says.

Stiles heart stops for a second. Then it goes back as normal. He is one hour and a half away from Beacon Hills. How is he going to get back with enough time to see his father? What if he is dying? What if he doesn’t see him again?

“I’ll be there as fast as I can.” Stiles says and then throws the phone to the seat next to him. He turns around the steering wheel and presses the gas pedal as hard as he can.

Stiles can’t stop blaming himself for running away this exact night. He had a million nights and he chose today. He chose the worse of all them to run away. He is going over the speed limit but he doesn’t care. As long as he gets to the hospital.

He checks the watch. It’s 1:34AM, he has been driving for almost an hour now. He is almost on Beacon Hills. The phone is ringing but he ignores it. He ignores the phone. It is just another distraction and he doesn’t want to pick it up because he fears it could be bad news.

He feels his heart coming out of his chest. His blood is running through all his body faster than it has ever been. He checks the watch again. 2:03AM. He knows he’s almost on the hospital. He knows he’s going to be there in less than ten minutes but still, he doesn’t slow down. He even goes faster.

He parks the car recklessly, he leaves it there, occupying almost three places but now he’s got no time to think about that. He jumps off the Jeep and runs towards the E.R door. When he gets to the desk, Melissa is there.

“Why do you come so late?” Melissa says, getting up the chair. “Come with me, he’s in a private room already.”

Stiles is trying to recover his steady breath. He came running with the car and he came running to the hospital. He can’t even talk.

“Is he alone?” Stiles finally says something. “Is Scott there?”

“You check it yourself.” Melissa is angry at Stiles for behaving as he did tonight. Stiles understands it though, he knows he screwed it today. He knows he should have never thought about leaving his father alone.

Stiles gives Melissa a nod and opens the door. Stiles enters the room scared to receive a yell from his father. He deserves it. He deserves the shouts and some slaps too. He has behaved as a five year old children this past year. He sits in a chair next to his father, who has a respiratory tube over his mouth and serum needles connected to his arms.

“Oh, dad…” Stiles says, grabbing his father hand. “What happened to you?” Stiles sinks his face to the bed and tries to hold his tears back.

“I think you won yourself the douchebag award of the year.” A man’s voice says behind Stiles.

Stiles knows to who that voice belongs. He turns his face in less than a second and stares at the owner of that voice. He tries to stop the urge of jumping to his neck, the urge to strangle him. HE stands up of the chair and comes closer to him. When he reaches him, he looks at him, making eye-contact. He is trying to search for some emotion, for some feelings of regret inside those werewolf eyes.

“I hate you, Derek.” Stiles says, walking away from him.

 

 


	2. Sorry's not good enough

“What the hell are you doing here?” Stiles burst to Derek. “You were gone for a year and now, you appear?”

Derek doesn’t give him an answer. He just stares at Stiles, with a smile on his face. He is proud of this situation. Not proud of The Sheriff’s condition, though.

“I heard about your father.” Derek says. “I thought it was appropriate to come.”

Stiles opens his mouth to say something but decides that this is not the best place to argue with Derek. He comes back to the chair, ignoring Derek. He can’t just appear here, after one year, like nothing happened. But he won’t talk to him. The Sheriff needs him, this is not the right moment to speak their problems.

“Dad?” Stiles asks. But he knows there won’t be an answer. He knows his father is asleep, or sedated. He is still curious about what happened.

Stiles turns his face to Derek. “Do you mind telling me what the hell happened?” He asks. He sounds rude, but Stiles doesn’t seem to care about Derek’s feelings.

“He had an accident.” Derek answers.

“Wow, big deal. I knew that. Could you please enlighten me a little bit?” Stiles asks again, angry.

“He was doing his usual patrol, a car was off the speed limit and your father’s car was on the way. He had a car accident.”

“How did you know about it?”

“Scott told me.” Derek shrugs.

“He told you?” Stiles voice is a mix of anger and confusion. How come Scott called Derek before Stiles?

“Look at your phone.” Derek makes a head shake.

Stiles takes the phone off his pocket. It is weird to receive orders from Derek, or suggestions of any kind. It is weird hearing Derek’s voice, or watching him. His hair, his tight jeans and his usual plain color t-shirts. It is odd. But Stiles is enjoying it.

He checks his phone. 20 messages from Scott, 10 from Lydia and there are a couple from Allison and even Isaac. _So they tried to call me, to contact me._ Stiles thinks. He feels a warm sensation over his chest, he feels loved. He believes that love is the last thing he should feel after the way he treated them, but he is glad they didn’t give up on him.

“This doesn’t explain everything.” Stiles says. “It doesn’t explain why Scott called you.”

Derek shakes his head, tired of hearing Stiles rejections. He comes closer to Stiles, and bends down in front of him. Stiles turns his face from him, giving him his back, but Derek grabs Stiles chin and forces him to make eye-contact with his eyes.

“I screwed up. I should have told you something. I should have come here and talk to you. I should have answered your messages.” Derek begins to say. This is an apology, but Stiles won’t accept it.

“I should have said this before, months before, but I just couldn’t.” Derek keeps staring at Stiles.

“You just couldn’t?” Stiles chuckles. “So you ran away, you kept the contact with Scott and none of you had the nice gesture of telling me about it?”

“I made Scott promise that he wouldn’t tell you.” Derek voice sounds tired.

“Did he tell you about how I spent my whole year? Did he tell you about the restless nights? About the nightmares? Did he tell you about my trips to your house? Did he tell you that I cry to sleep? Did he tell you how I used to get drunk just to sleep the first months after you left? That I almost lose it? That my father has been living a god damned hell just because I couldn’t move on? Did Scott tell you all that? Because if you knew it, and you didn’t come to check on me, I swear to god I will never forgive you. I hate you, Derek, I fucking hate you.” Stiles is on the verge of tears. He is trying so hard not to cry in front of Derek.

Derek grabs Stiles hand. Both of them, and he squeezes them hard. Stiles doesn’t squeeze back. He just keeps looking at his father, still sleep. He gets up from the chair and goes to the door.

“I am going to ask Melissa.” Stiles says. “I would ask you to wait but if I do, you could disappear just like you did last time.”

“Stiles…” Derek begins to say, but Stiles slams the door behind him.

Stiles can’t believe what just happened. His father had an accident and now, now Derek has come back from wherever he was and he pretends to have everything as perfect as it was before. He cannot allow that to happen, he can’t forget him so easily. It’s been the worst year of his life and it won’t be solved just because Derek came to visit his father.

“Melissa, could you fill me in?” Stiles asks. He is still shocked by the news, both of them.

“Of course, but I want to talk to you first.” Melissa leads the way to a private room. She offers Stiles a seat and then, she sits down in front of him.

“You tell me.” Stiles says.

“What is wrong with you, Stiles? I mean, Scott told me about the message, you were about to leave Beacon Hills and don’t lie to me because I know it’s true.” She sighs. “It took you almost two hours to come here, Stiles! It’s your father! How can you be so selfish? How can you leave all of us behind? Just because that Derek Hale has treated you like a disposable hanky!”

“You don’t have to shout at me.” Stiles says, he’s about to cry but he won’t. He is done with crying.

“Of course I have to! Your father didn’t have the guts, neither did Scott but you need to get your priorities clear. That boy is no good for you, how can he come after one year with a pretty smile on his face like nothing happened?” Melissa is mad, at both Stiles and Derek. But specially Derek. She doesn’t want to be mean to Stiles, but she feels like she has to.

“What do you want me to do, then? You know how hard it’s been for me!” Now Stiles is shouting. He is on his limits.

“To suck it up. He left you, and he hasn’t called you for a year. Move on. Burn the past and start taking care of you.” Melissa stares at Stiles eyes. They are wet and teary, but she knows Stiles won’t cry in front of her, she knows him so well. “That being said, your father is okay. He will be out of the hospital tomorrow morning. This is just the usual routine.” She stands up and puts a hand over Stiles shoulder. “I’m glad to know you didn’t leave.” She gives him a soft smile and then she leaves the room.

Stiles stays in that room for some minutes before deciding to go back to his father’s. He knows Derek is going to be there and he doesn’t want to see him. Not now. He grabs his phone from his pocket and calls Scott.

“Dude.” He says. “My father is in the hospital.”

“I know, my mother told me.” Scott says. “Are you there?”

“Yeah, I came here half an hour ago.”

“What took you so long?”

“Never mind.” Stiles sighs. “Derek is here.”

“Wh-what?”

“As you hear me. He came to see my father because you told him.” Stiles is no longer calmed, he’s mad Scott didn’t tell him.

“I didn’t expect him to come.” Scott’s voice is shaking. “I mean, not so fast.”

“You have been talking with him the whole year, right?”

“Stiles, it’s complicated.” Scott’s voice shakes even more. “I can’t tell you this by phone.”

“Well, you know where to find me.” Stiles hangs up the phone.

He goes to the vending machine to grab some coffee before going back to the room. He has to face Derek sooner or later and his father is in a good condition after all, so maybe they can talk. Stiles wants some explanation.

He enters the room and Derek is still on the chair. He hasn’t left and somehow, Stiles feels relieved and better. He left in the past, what can possibly stop him to do it again?

“You didn’t leave.” Stiles says, surprised.

“I can’t leave.” Derek says, looking at Stiles.

“You left once, you could do it again.”

“I had my reasons.”

“Yeah, now it’s the time when you explain me that you had to leave me without telling me about it, without a single message because you discovered that there was something more important than warning your god damned friend about it. That you were in some kind of danger, that you wanted to protect me or Scott, or the pack or whoever you want to say.” Stiles is angry, he has never been this angry before. He got all this stuff inside of him throughout the whole year and now it’s a bomb exploding. “You are going to tell me all that, right?” he raises one of his eyebrows.

“I don’t have a good reason.” Derek shrugs. “At least not one you would accept.”

“You are a douchebag, Derek Hale.” He pushes Derek’s shoulder. “You fucking brought your surname to a whole new level of your freaking couldn’t care less about anything attitude.”

“You wouldn’t understand it, Stiles.” Derek tries to grab Stiles hand.

“DON’T TOUCH ME!” Stiles jumps out of his chair. “No, not after what you did.”

“What do you want me to do then? Tell me!” Derek is furious. He wasn’t expecting this reaction from Stiles, he thought Stiles would be joyful to see him after one year, but now, now everything looks to be going even worse.

“I want you to leave.” Stiles says, one tear running down his cheek. “Now.”

“As you wish.” Derek whispers.

Stiles sits down on the chair next to his father bed. Derek grabs the doorknob and looks to Stiles one more time.

“I just want you to know that I did what was best for the two of us.” Derek says and then he leaves the room.

  

 

 

 

 

 


	3. How soon is now?

The Sheriff is out of the hospital and Stiles is back at his place. He doesn’t think of leaving or at least, not for now, not until his father is one hundred percent recovered.

Stiles hasn’t called Derek for the past two days. He hasn’t called anyone to be honest. Not even Scott nor Lydia. He has received several calls and messages and even some visits from his friends but he ignored them. He hasn’t gone to school neither. He took the advantage that his father is in no condition to push him to go to school so he is taking some free days.

Stiles is laid over his bed, looking at the poster he has on the ceiling. _Why do I even like this group? Their songs only remind me of what I lost, of how hard my life has been since I said that damn thing about in this shit hole nothing happens. But now, Beacon Hills is like the worse rollercoaster you could ever dare to try and I am the one who sucks everything._ Stiles thinks.

He turns to look at the wardrobe and he sees one t-shirt he’s not familiar with. Well, he _is_ familiar with that t-shirt but not because it belongs to him. He stands up quickly and grabs it from the ground. It’s Derek’s favorite t-shirt. _He left it the last time he was here._ He goes back to the bed, still with the t-shirt on his hand and goes back to looking at the ceiling.

“Why? Why does it always have to end like this?” he says, out loud. “I wish I could go back in time and stop myself from ever considering him a good friend. He has never cared for anyone but himself. He has never believed in anyone but himself and his family and I am not his family.”

Stiles stands up and grabs the keys from his Jeep. He plans to do something. When he is on the front door, he shouts:

“Dad! I’m going for a walk. Don’t wait me for dinner!” he shouts.

He waits for a response from his father and as he was expecting he receives an approbation. He runs outside and jumps inside the Jeep, turns on the engine and drives to the place his heart is telling to go.

_Derek’s place._

He parks the car outside and takes some minutes before actually making what he is going to do. He gets off the car and goes upstairs to Derek’s loft. He waits outside the door for some minutes again. He touches the door and then the knob and finally, he gathers the necessary amount of courage to open the door.

“Stiles?” Derek asks, surprised. “What are you doing here?”

Stiles walks to the table in the middle of Derek’s loft. Derek is next to the window, with the phone on his hand. He has been calling Stiles nonstop since he got back. None of his calls nor messages were answered.

“We need to talk.” Stiles says with a cold voice.

“Of course.” Derek says, approaching Stiles. “You say.”

“ME?” Stiles says, pointing at him.

“Well, me.” Derek answers, with a tired voice. “I don’t know where to start.”

“How about the beginning?”

“Don’t give me that. This is not the usual easy-to-tell story, Stiles. It’s complicated.”

“It’s _always_ complicated for you, Derek.”

Derek sighs. “It is complicated for us.”

Stiles feels an arrow crossing his heart the moment he hears Derek saying those words. It’s the first time Derek called Stiles and him ‘us’. But that won’t make him yield so easy.

“Well, go on.” Stiles says.

“Do you remember the story that Peter told you about my first love?” Derek asks.

Stiles nods, mutely, without moving a muscle in his body.

“It has to do with that.” Derek sits on the table, next to Stiles. “She was special to me, all right? She was the only one in this world that could make me feel different, that could make me feel like no one else did before. I can’t describe you what I felt, what my heart was experiencing at that moment, because it’s indescribable. You cannot tell with words what I felt back then. But I can tell you one thing: it was real.”

“So what? What does that have to do with me?”

“Could you let me finish, please?” Derek asks, muttering.

Stiles nods and makes a move with his hand to show him to continue.

“All right. I had other relationships after that one. But none of them were as real as she was. I can assure you that. I never felt the same.”

“Do I have to say so what again or are you going to get to the point?” Stiles keeps bothering Derek.

“You are irritating, you know that?”

“I think you are worse.”

“You are a child, Stiles.”

“But you are going to tell me that you felt the same that you felt for that girl in high school.” Stiles says.

Derek doesn’t say anything. He just stares at Stiles and looks within his eyes. He wants to know what Stiles is thinking, he wants to know everything about him but he is more than aware that he screwed up and that things are not going to be a happy tale from now on. He had to do something to amend what he did, but he can’t tell Stiles the real reason. He has to wait for the right moment.

“I wasn’t going to tell you that.” Derek says.

Stiles opens his mouth, surprised because this could be the first time he ever got something wrong about Derek.

“I was going to tell you that I _feel_ I didn’t even have the occasion to feel with that girl.” Derek says.

He leans forward to Stiles, grabbing his hand first and then, putting one hand on the back of Stiles’ neck. He approaches his head to Stiles and then, he tilts it a bit to the left to fit better. Stiles responds well, he places both of his hands on Derek’s chest and then, to Derek’s surprise, he pushes him away.

“As much as I have been waiting for this moment for a year, I don’t want it now.” Stiles says, jumping off the table. “I came here for answers and all you are trying to do is trick me to fall into your web again.” He opens the door. “It won’t work this time.” And then he leaves.

As he goes downstairs, he can hear the screams coming from Derek’s loft. Screams of pain and despair. _He did it all himself._ Stiles thinks, excusing himself and trying to make the situation easier.

He runs the engine again and goes to Scott’s house now. All Stiles can think now is to find someone to explain what is going on. If Derek won’t tell him, then it will be Scott.

Stiles knocks on Scott’s and Melissa opens the door. She looks tired, she probably worked the night shift again. She lets Stiles come in and Stiles goes straight to Scott’s room.

“Can I come in?” Stiles says.

“Dude, since when do you ask for permission?” Scott says, opening the door.

“Since the last time I remember coming here was like what, six months ago?” Stiles answers, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“How are you?” Scott asks.

“I’ve been better. Too many things in two days. My dad, Derek, you…”

“Me?”

“Derek told me you sent him messages.”

“Ah…”

“Ah? That’s all you can say?”

“I couldn’t tell you about it, okay? Don’t put the blame on me. He made me swear I wouldn’t tell you.”

“Anyway, can you tell me now?”

“No. He is the one that has to tell you.”

“Tell me what, Jesus.”

“Just wait.” Scott sits next to Stiles. “Look, this is probably going to sound nuts but I am your best friend and I always give you the best advices.”

“No, you don’t. But go on.” Stiles says, half smirking.

“Derek had his reasons but he needs time to adjust to all this. You can hate him all you want, and I understand it, I would do it too, but don’t waste time, okay? He came to make things up, don’t make him lose any time.”

“I can’t believe you are on his side.”

“I am not on his side, I am just telling you to see it from another point of view.”

“Which is?” Stiles asks.

“If he hasn’t told you the reason it’s because he has to think of a way to tell it. If he is going to tell you about it, why would you be mad at him? Why wouldn’t you be enjoying your time with him?”

Stiles sighs. He knows Scott is right. But Derek made him spend a whole year living in agony and he didn’t say nothing. He hasn’t even tried.

“Do you trust me, Stiles?”

“Of course I do.”

“Then, trust me and spend time with him.” Scott gives Stiles a bitter smile.

 

* * *

 

Stiles is back at home after the talk he just had with Scott. He can’t stop thinking about why Scott would betray him that why, but now, he feels like he has one excuse to forget Derek for what he did, even if the reasons are unknown. He knows he can’t let Derek see him as a weak, but he has thought about the day he returned so much, he has imagined that day so many times since he left that ignoring him, even though he disappeared, feels wrong.

Stiles drives to Derek’s loft again but this time, he doesn’t hesitate at jumping off his Jeep nor entering the loft without even knocking. He goes straight to Derek and confronts him again.

Derek turns around, shocked to see Stiles again and opens his arms to wrap them around Stiles. Something he has missed too much to be good for a person. Stiles lets himself be hugged by the werewolf that has turned his life into a disaster but also made it so great. They both hug each other as if this was the last day on Earth, and then, they look in the eyes.

Stiles is eager to find something hidden there that can give him so answers, but he can’t focus while looking at Derek’s eyes. They are too dark and too dreary, he cannot lose him again. That’s the only thing Stiles can focus on now.

Derek. Derek has been the center of his life since Scott was bitten. His whole life structure and his priorities have changed from none to him. Derek is all that matters and he has to trust him. No matter how much it hurts to trust someone again after the thread holding them was broken. He will do it, he will trust Derek again and they will be as happy as they were one year ago. Things will change for the better now that he’s back.

Derek looks within Stiles. He listens to his heartbeat, steady but then rapid, calm but at the same time, furious, anxious. He knows Stiles has reasons to run away and shoot him with one of Chris Argent’s guns. But he trusts him and he hopes to recover that trust. He hopes to make up what he did wrong in the past.

However, there are things that are hard to tell. While Derek was returning to Beacon Hills, the only thing he could ever think of is what he would tell Stiles. He had a rough year too, ignoring Stiles was no easy task, considering the fact that Stiles messaged and called him almost fifty times a day. The calls never decreased, no matter the day, the hour, no matter the long distance nor the time that has passed, Stiles kept sending those messages. Derek could feel the hope through them.

Derek could feel Stiles tears, Stiles weary heart. He could feel it all through just one message or one missing call. He couldn’t do anything but now he can. He can love Stiles all over again and that’s all that matters.

“Why did you come back?” Derek asks, still hugging Stiles.

“There are things that do not need an explanation.” Stiles says.

“You didn’t say that before.”

“I talked to Scott.”

Derek heart turns around after hearing those four words. He grabs Stiles away from him, stopping the hug and looks to his eyes, hoping to see if he can guess what Scott told him.

“What did he tell you?” Derek asks.

“Why?” Stiles answers with another question.

“I want to know.”

“I want to know why you are acting like a nut case.”

“I want to know what he told you Stiles. I am serious.”

Stiles hates it every time Derek puts himself into the ‘I am a super werewolf and I am angry’ mood. Derek can get everything he wants when he growls or shouts. But Stiles won’t tolerate him that anymore, no. Definitely no.

“I was serious before too.” Stiles sighs. “And you didn’t tell me shit.”

“But you went to Scott and that’s cheating.”

“Cheating? Wow, are we playing some kind of game?” Stiles lifts his arms and makes movements with them as if he was dancing. “Is this the let’s guess why Derek ignored Stiles for a whole year while talking to the rest of people in Beacon Hills? Wow, I am keen to play that.”

“Your sarcasm hurts.”

“Sarcasm is m--.”

“My only defense, yeah I know.” Derek grabs one of Stiles hand and plays softly with its fingers. “But you can’t ask him, all right? You will put him in a compromised situation.”

“Why?”

“Because I made him promise not to tell you and he is your best friend and I have been convincing him all year not to tell you about me, so, please, don’t ask Scott again because I am the one who should tell you.”

“Then tell me.”

“I thought you came here because you didn’t need an explanation.”

Stiles rolls his eyes.

“Of course I need an explanation!” he lets go of Derek’s hand. “But Scott is my best friend and he gave me some advice so I came here because I want to start making things right with you!”

“What advice did he give you?”

“He told me that you were the one that should tell me what happened and that I shouldn’t waste any time with you.” Stiles talks while moving his hands, the usual Stiles thing. “Which now that I say it it’s weird because why would I waste time with a freaking werewolf when you are forever young and I am doomed to die ugly and old?”

“You won’t be ever ugly.” Derek grabs Stiles waist.

“But I am sure going to be old.” Stiles puts his hands over Derek’s.

“But we are going to do it together.” Derek says, almost whispering.

Derek tilts his head again, hoping this time Stiles won’t reject him. He sees Stiles closing his eyes the old way and he can’t help himself but smile while leaning forward to him. He lifts his hands to touch Stiles’ back and caresses it softly. Oh, how he missed the touch of his skin. His smooth and usual warm skin, proving him right that Stiles body is made of fire. He missed the smell of Stiles hair and his essence. He used to force him to think about it while he was gone.

Stiles puts his hands over Derek’s waist and leans forward faster, tired of waiting for Derek. Their lips touch, and finally, he can taste his lips again. They can be together, when all the hope was lost, he can feel safe and sound again while touching him. He never felt this way the last year. He felt lost and defenseless, unprotected and weak. He lets himself fall over Derek’s body, making the contact more present.

Derek is about to take Stiles shirt off but Stiles stops him and then, he opens his eyes. They stay in that position, body to body and hands with hands, for some minutes. Their eyes looking more than just the superficial parts. They are looking at their souls and they are hoping that the other is thinking the same as they are.

“I missed this.” Derek says, breaking the silent.

“I missed you.” Stiles says, smiling.

 


	4. I should have known better

Derek wakes up in his loft, but something has changed since the last time he woke up. He isn’t alone. Stiles is sleeping next to him, his breath is filling the whole loft and Derek likes to wake up next to him. He enjoys the way his cheeks puff out when he breathes in, and loves the way they let the air out. The freckles in his face and arms make Derek tickle, because they are cute but still, they make Stiles look tough.

Stiles moves a bit and Derek worries he might have wake him up. Luckily, Stiles keeps sleeping. He has his arms wrapped around Derek’s body but Derek leaves the bad, slowly, to give him a surprise.

He slept without his shirt, probably because Stiles gave him too much warm, so he decided to take it off. He doesn’t remember much of what happened. He remembers they asked for Chinese food for dinner and that Stiles called his father to tell him he’d spend the night at Scott’s. Obviously, that was a lie because Stiles didn’t go to Scott’s. He stayed at the loft with Derek, but Stiles sent Scott a message telling him to lie about it if it was necessary.

Derek can’t forget him for what he did to Stiles but he is trying his best to make it up. He is going to make him breakfast and bring it to bed for him. He has never been a good cooker but he had learned some tricks during the year and he’s going to show him the best.

When he’s finished, he brings a tray to the bed and Stiles starts to move. He opens his eyes and sees Derek, shirtless with a tray with pancakes on it. He couldn’t feel happier. The eyelids open as fast as a lightning and he sits down.

“Wow.” Stiles says.

“Morning, wolfie.” Derek says, giving Stiles a kiss on the cheek. “How did you sleep?”

“Best night ever.” Stiles smiles and gives Derek a kiss. “You?”

“The same.”

“Why did you make it?” Stiles points at the breakfast.

“We deserve to share breakfast in bed.” Derek laughs.

“I’m starving, let’s eat it.”

“You are always so hungry.”

“Food is the key, Derek, food is the key.”

Stiles throws himself over the food and begins to eat the pancakes Derek made for him. He enjoys every bit better than the last one. This is the first time Stiles has wake up feeling hungry for the past year. He lost a lot of weight due to the stress, the endless nights and the anxiety attacks. He was skinny before Derek left, but now, he looked like a living skeleton.

“You lost weight.” Derek says.

“I know.”

“Why is that?”

“I don’t know.” Stiles shrugs. “I guess your depart caused some impact on my body.”

“You have to recover.”

“I know, I know, I’ve eaten more in the past weeks. You should have seen me six months ago. I was half Allison.”

Derek grabs Stiles’ hand and squeezes it harder. He blames himself for this and he knows he cannot lie to him anymore. Not considering the circumstances. But how is he going to tell him? How is he going to burst it out for him?

“You shouldn’t allow your body to control you.” Derek says. “It’s not healthy.”

“I know, I know.” Stiles’ mouth is full of food. “I just lost it. How would have you reacted if you were in my position?”

“I don’t know… It’s different.”

“Why is it different? You wouldn’t have worried about me?”

“No, no it’s not that. It’s just…I am always dealing with things, blaming myself for everything I made, so I’d blame myself again and I drown in my own emotions.”

“So you would be affected too.”

“Yeah, but you need to take control of your emotions.”

“Why are you telling me that?”

“I don’t know, just reminding you.”

“You ain’t gonna leave.”

“Let’s say I leave again.”

Stiles stops eating. He stares at Derek, wondering if what he just said is true or if it’s just a way of screwing with Stiles again.

“You ain’t gonna leave, right?”

“I came for a reason. But I have to make sure you are not going to throw your life out of the window if I ever leave again.”

“You ain’t gonna leave, right?”

“Stiles” Derek shakes him. “Focus, please. You don’t know why I left, but I left for a reason. The same thing I came back for. I need help. I am in trouble, big trouble. I’ve been the past year looking for a solution and I didn’t find it. I came back because this is all I’ve got left.”

“Scott couldn’t help you. Spending one year missing couldn’t help you. Why would coming back help you?”

“Because this town has something.”

“Something like what?”

“You and Lydia.”

“You came back for me and Lydia?”

“It sounds crazy but you two are my last resources.”

“Derek you are scaring the hell out of me.” Stiles squeezes his hand. “What’s going on?”

“I can’t tell you. Not yet. I have to figure out something before telling you.”

“Jesus, Derek. You could enlighten something. I’ve been walking blind for a year, Scott has known it all for a year and he didn’t tell me. Now you are saying only Lydia and I can help you so would you please tell me what’s fucking wrong?”

Derek gives Stiles a hug. A long, tight hug. He is trying not to cry, not to cry and show his weakness in front of Stiles, but he won’t be able to play the “I’m tough role” in front of him. He just won’t. He can’t even manage to do it now. How is he going to do it in two days?

“I’ve got cancer.” Derek says.

_It’s impossible, werewolves can’t have cancer. They are invincible and they are strong. They can’t have it. They can’t. Not Derek. Derek can’t have it._ Stiles thinks. Because that’s the only thing he’s been doing after Derek told him that. After Derek Hale, the tough werewolf he is in love with, told him he’s got cancer. His heart has stopped too. He hasn’t passed out, nor died. But he’s starting to do it, he’s going to die day by day.

“Stiles?” Derek asks. “I know this is shocking. I was also like you are now when I knew it.”

Stiles doesn’t answer. He is staring at Derek like it’s the last time he’s ever going to see him this way. He puts his hand over his cheek and caresses it softly, like he has never done before. He, then, watches him as a drama movie, but blinks away his tears. He can’t let Derek know he’s in pain too. A different pain now. The lies were better than the truth.

“I’d rather die for you.” Stiles says.

“You can’t do that, and even if you could, I wouldn’t let you.” Derek answers, grabbing Stiles hands. “We are going to get through this.”

“But you said you were looking for a solution for one year!” Stiles hands are trembling. “How are we supposed to get through this if you couldn’t find an answer, if you came here it’s because you are desperate and because…” Stiles stops.

He has realized that the only reason why Derek could have comeback all of a sudden it’s because there is no time left. He understands why Scott told him to not waste any time with Derek, to spend all the time I have with him. Because he is… Stiles can’t even think of the word. He can’t think of a world without Derek Hale. Without his arrogance and his self-centered speech and shit. He can’t think of a world without bitter smiles and midnight calls. He can’t think of a world without him.

“Are you…?” Stiles begins to say.

“Yes.” Derek answers.

There is no need for them to say the word because they both know what they are talking about.

“How can I help?” Stiles asks. He doesn’t have time to cry or to complain about why all good things have a bad side within them. He can’t have that privilege called time. Derek’s a bomb about to explode and he’s come back for help. He’s going to do whatever it has to be done for him.

“I don’t know, I just…well, I have to talk to Deaton and Lydia and you are the genius in the pack so I thought maybe…” Derek sighs. “I don’t know, do some research? Maybe Lydia can do something too…” he sighs again. “I’m hopeless Stiles.”

“We’ll figure it out, all right? Whatever it takes, we’ll take you out of this.” Stiles says. He’s hopeless too, but he can’t let Derek see it. If not, he’ll be worse.

“Where are you going?” Derek asks as he watches Stiles getting up from the bed.

“You want help, right? I’m going to help.” Stiles says. He leans forward and gives Derek a soft but passionate kiss, a long kiss but it tastes like something with an end.

“But…” Derek can’t finish the sentence and Stiles slams the door behind him.

He runs to the Jeep and jumps in as if Derek was going to die soon. Which he is, but not that soon. He goes straight to Scott’s house and knocks the door. Melissa opens the door again.

“Hello Melissa, how are you? Fine, all right, see you later.” Stiles says as he runs upstairs. “Scott, we need to do something.” Stiles opens the door. “Oh, ah, I am sorry.” Stiles says.

He has caught Scott making out with Kira. _At least they are wearing clothes._ Stiles thinks.

“I’m sorry but this is im--.” Stiles begins to say.

“Important, yeah I know. Derek told you, right?” Scott says.

Kira sits down, next to Scott, still with her cheeks blushed. Stiles grabs a chair and sits in front of them.

“Yeah, he told me…” Stiles says. “We need to do something.”

“I called Deaton, he says he has something but it’s not a cure.” Scott shakes his head. “He said this is the only case he’s ever heard of. He said, and I quote: “A wolf with cancer is as weird as seeing a red dog.”

“I hate Deaton’s comparisons.” Kira says. “I’m sorry Stiles… I can ask my father too, maybe he knows something?”

“Does he know about all this?” Stiles asks.

“Yeah, I mean, when I found out about myself I went straight to him and he told me everything and then I explained that Scott was a werewolf and, that’s pretty much the whole story.” She says. “I’ll go now. I can call you later.” She gets up from bed giving Scott a kiss in his cheek. “Good luck.”

“Thank you, Kira.” Stiles says, grabbing her hand before she leaves. “Seriously.”

Kira leaves the room and Scott begins to search for a jacket. Once he found it, he grabs his helmet and they both leave the room too.

Melissa tries to ask them things before they leave the house but Scott makes her a sign, the ‘I’m going to tell you later’ kind of sign and then, Stiles gets on his Jeep and Scott on his motorbike.

They get to the clinic faster than usual, probably because Stiles ignored the traffic signs through all the way from Scott’s till here. They get off their vehicles and get inside the clinic.

“Deaton? Deaton?” Scott asks.

“Over here!” Deaton says, from inside the clinic.

“Hi.” Scott says, once they get inside the room.

“Hello, Deaton.” Stiles says. He grabs a stool and sits there. Scott stays stand.

“First, I am sorry Stiles.” Deaton says. His eyes are pitting him. “Secondly, I think I know some kind of antidote that can slow down the process that can buy us some time until we find the real cure.”

“Okay, where’s that?” Stiles asks, eager.

“I have it here, but I have to tell you a thing. This is going to leave Derek in a deplorable state, it’s going to be a hard week for him.” Deaton says.

“How much time will we have then?” Scott asks.

“Two months.”

“JUST TWO MONTHS?” Stiles shouts. “Does that mean that Derek, the Derek that’s in his loft right now, is going to die tomorrow?”

“No, he has a week.” Scott says. “More or less.”

Stiles sighs and makes Deaton a sign to keep telling him about the antidote.

“This will give us two months. But we have to organize ourselves if we really want to save him. I’ll arrange a meeting tomorrow. All of you, even Derek have to come, Derek will refuse because you are going to give him the antidote after you leave the clinic, but you have to bring him too, all right?”

“Wouldn’t it be better if we do the meeting at Derek’s loft?” Stiles suggests, raising one eyebrow.

“Ah… I didn’t think of that.” Deaton smiles. “Then, tomorrow at Derek’s loft. I’ll send you a message. We can’t lose him.”

“I won’t let that happen. Even if I have to give him my blood.” Stiles says. “I’m going to give him this now. I’ll fill you in later.” He says, grabbing the bottle and leaving the clinic.

He puts the bottle inside his pocket and runs at full speed towards Derek’s loft with his Jeep. He gets inside the loft even faster than when he left and he hugs Derek as he sees him.

“That was fast.” Derek says, still hugging Stiles.

“A week and you didn’t tell me before.” Stiles says.

“I didn’t know what to do.”

“If you called me before, I would have given you this sooner or maybe I’ll punch that son of a bitch out of your body.”

“What’s that?” Derek asks.

“Something to slow down the process. Deaton says it’s going to be awful.”

“Let it be awful.” Derek says, taking off his t-shirt.

Stiles prepares the needle with the antidote and injects it in Derek’s arm. Derek moans but tries to keep his toughness for Stiles. Once Stiles has injected the whole bottle in Derek, he hugs him tight, again, an endless hug.

“Don’t you dare to die before I do, Derek Hale.” Stiles says.

 

 


	5. The things I do for love

“Now that we are all gathered here, let’s begin the meeting.” Deaton says.  
All of them are in the loft. Even the twins. Stiles isn’t aware of why they are here when all they did since they appeared in Beacon Hills is hurt people, specially to Scott’s pack. They killed Boyd, they forced Derek doing it, and yet, they are here, trying to help him.  
Derek is not in such a good condition. What Deaton said yesterday about the side effects of the antidote Stiles gave him was true. His face is paper white and he hasn’t slept in all night, he has been throwing out some black liquid and he passed out almost three times.  
Stiles isn’t much better neither. He has been taking care of Derek all night, cleaning his face after the trips to the bathroom, he has carried him back to bed when he passed out. The worst for Stiles is not doing this, because he knows he has to do it, the worst part is knowing he’s gonna lose him if they don’t find an answer soon.  
“What do you propose?” Lydia asks. She always asks first.  
“Scott and I have been working on finding something to cure Derek since last year.” Deaton answers, looking at all of them. “We didn’t get lucky. I found something to postpone the cancer, but that isn’t going to cure him. He needs to heal on his own and that’s where youand Stiles come in.”  
Stiles leans forward, as if being closer to Deaton would do something to light an idea on his brain.  
“I’m listening.” Stiles says.  
“Me too.” Lydia adds.  
“Good. You are the genius in the pack. You have to find in every book, every website, everything you can think of and you have to search about werewolves, diseases in human bodies, how they work and everything, and try to make a connection to the werewolf body and how it usually works. It is not going to be easy and yes, I know I could have done it myself, but I am not as smart as you two are when you work together. So I hope you find something useful. Anything, any tiny detail about the human body can spark a fire in Derek’s body and make the cancer go away. Do you understand it?” Deaton says.  
“Yes.” Stiles and Lydia say at the same time.  
“As soon as the meeting is over, we’ll go deep into research.” Stiles says. But his mind is not thinking about that. He wants to go now, but he doesn’t want to disrespect the rest so he will stay, next to Derek, holding his head up whenever it falls.  
“This goes for the werewolves.” Deaton says, looking at Isaac, the twins and Scott. “You are not going to like this, but if you really want to save Derek, you must do it.”  
“As you say.” Scott says, without doubting.  
“You are going to cause injuries all over yourselves and write down how your bodies react and how fast they heal. If a stab in the lower back takes two minutes longer to heal than a stab in the neck, I want to know. I want to know everything that happens in your bodies during the experimentation.” He says.  
“I don’t know why that will be useful.” Ethan says.  
“I thought you came here to help.” Stiles says.  
“We came here to help, not to get a free torture pass.” Aiden says.  
“Well, if the free torture pass is going to help Derek, I’ll do it.” Stiles says, making a step closer to Aiden.  
“You would do whatever it takes to save his butt.” Aiden makes one step closer to Stiles. They are a few inches away from each other, his chests almost touching.  
“Why are you even here, seriously?” Stiles shouts really close to Aiden.  
Aiden groans at Stiles and the whole room reacts to that. Scott jumps next to Stiles, and pushes him away from Aiden, placing himself between the two. Lydia is covered by Allison, who has carried her arrow, just in case she may use it. Peter goes quickly, next to Derek to protect him in case something goes wrong and he gets hurt. Isaac does the same as Scott, following him.  
“Can we please finish this as a happy and peaceful pack?” Deaton shouts. “I didn’t come here to see how two teenage boys get themselves into a fight.”  
“Sorry.” Aiden says. Ethan drags him close to where he is.  
“Sorry.” Stiles says, returning back to Derek’s side.  
“Thank you.” Deaton nods. “As I was saying, each one of you is going to test themselves and your supernatural bodies.”  
Peter, Isaac, the twins and Scott say yes at the same time. Deaton smiles and he directs his speck to Allison.  
“Allison you have to talk to your father. He knows more than he usually shows, so ask him. I don’t care if he gives zero fucks about Derek. Trick him and tell him it’s Scott, he cares about Scott.” Deaton begins to say.  
“I don’t he likes me.” Scott says, shrugging.  
“Whatever.” Deaton says. “Could you do that, Allison?”  
“I’ll try my best. But as Scott says, he doesn’t like a single werewolf.” Allison says.  
“Well, we have to give it a shot.” Deaton smiles at her. “Everyone knows what to do, right?”  
“Yes.” They say at the same time.  
“Then, let’s get rolling.” Deaton says, clapping three times. “Anything you find out, just call me or text me or come visit me.”  
They all nod, and they begin to leave the loft. Deaton goes first, and then, the twins. Isaac and Scott stay behind watching Stiles. Allison and Lydia are talking to each other and Peter is looking through the window.  
“How are you doing, Stiles?” Scott asks with an unusual low voice.  
“I had seen better days, but as long as he is alive, it’s okay for me.” Stiles lies. He doesn’t want to see Derek in this condition. It’s worse than killing him. He is not himself, he can barely talk. It’s awful.  
“We are going to save him.” Scott says.  
“Don’t promise the impossible.” Isaac adds.  
“On standard days, I don’t take your shit Isaac, but now, right now, if you weren’t a werewolf, I’ll throw you out of that window.” Stiles says, with an angry voice.  
“Sorry.” Isaac says. “Are we leaving?” he asks Scott.  
“Yeah.” Scott answers. “Take care, all right?” Scott says, giving Stiles a hug.  
“Bye.” Stiles says.  
Stiles watches how Scott and Isaac leave the loft. He turns his head to Allison and Lydia, still talking and he walks towards them.  
“Hey.” He says.  
“How are you, Stiles?” Allison says, caressing his arm.  
“Well, I hope we can do something.” Stiles shrugs.  
“I have to tell you one thing.” Lydia says, whispering.  
“Yeah?” Stiles leans forward to hear better what she has to say.  
“You can’t tell anyone about this.” Lydia keeps lowering her voice.  
“Go on.” Stiles says, moving his hand.  
“I hooked up with Peter last night.” Lydia says.  
Peter turns around and Stiles looks at him. He’s smirking, proud of what he did. Stiles looks back at Allison and she shakes her head. Lydia isn’t showing any remorse on her face but Stiles knows she wants to say something else and he leans forward again.  
“What else?” he asks.  
“He told me that someone made this to Derek.”   
“What the hell do you mean with someone?” Stiles asks Lydia. A spark of hope has lighted in his eyes, another hope has appeared within his heart, a hope that maybe, there’s another way besides the dark hollow they are heading into.  
“I don’t know, he didn’t tell me anything else.” Lydia shrugs. “And I tried.”  
“I’ll ask him.” Stiles says. “You can go and do what Deaton said, I’ll catch up later.”  
Lydia and Allison give Stiles a soft hug and they leave the loft, with a worried feeling. They know something bigger than what they think is cooking. Something that is not only going to strike on Derek’s life.  
“PETER!” Stiles shouts at him.  
“I have been hearing all this time, there’s no need to shout, Stiles.” Peter says, smirking.  
“What do you know?” Stiles asks, walking towards him.  
“I know for a fact that werewolves, true werewolves, do not have cancer.” He says.  
“Give me some further explanation.”  
“I want something in exchange.” Peter says, leaning forward to Stiles.  
“Whatever.” Stiles says, leaning forward too.  
“I want you to make Aiden and Lydia break up.” Peter smirks.  
“Wh-what?” Stiles steps away. “What the hell, Peter?”  
“Don’t stutter, baby boy.” Peter chuckles. “You know Lydia and I have this special connection. I want to make it stronger.”  
“What for?” Stiles asks. There is something bad about this, Stiles knows it. He can smell bad vibes and right now, at this loft, next to Peter, there are a lot of bad vibes.  
“I am the fire that burns her power. She is the flame inside my body.” Peter says, whispering. “She needs me as much as I need her.”  
“You are the only one who needs her.”  
“If that’s true then why did she hook up with me last night? I didn’t tell her to come and see me. She came on her own.” Peter smiles.  
“She came because you did something.”  
“Why is it so hard to believe that I am able to love too?”  
“Are you telling me you love Lydia?” Stiles opens his eyes wide, making eye contact with Peter.  
“It could be, it could not be.” Peter shrugs. “But I want to be able to connect with her.”  
“If I do it, you’ll tell me everything you know?”  
“Of course, a deal is a deal.” Peter makes a clap.  
“I want some information first. I am not destroying a relationship just for nothing.”  
“All right.” Peter sits on the edge of the table. “As I said, true werewolves, just like Derek and I, cannot get cancer. Scott can, Isaac can, even though it’s kind of impossible, they can get it. But we cannot get it. We are immune to that disease, it’s a gift that true werewolves have.” He clears his throat. “Therefore, someone must have done something to him. Or something else.”  
“What something else!” Stiles shouts.  
“Could you please calm down? He’s not gonna die now, and even if you knew what to do, there’s no way you can heal him.”  
“Why do you say that?”  
“Because he is the only one who can heal himself.” Peter turns his eyes to Derek. “And something else too, but that’s too dangerous and I can’t let anyone do it.”  
“What is it?” Stiles leans forward, grabbing Peter’s arm.  
“It’s too dangerous. I can’t let a werewolf do it, how am I gonna allow you to do it?” Peter looks at Stiles with a disgust look on his face. “Love is not that strong.”  
“Love can be as strong as you want.” Stiles answers. “Now, tell me what it is.”  
“I don’t want to be responsible for your death.”  
“Don’t be. Just tell me.”  
“I won’t.” Peter shrugs, letting go of Stiles’ hand.  
“Then write it down somewhere.” Stiles makes eye contact again. “If you write it down and I find the paper, then you are not responsible for my choices. I am the only one who is responsible for them.”  
“All right. Let it be that, then.” Peter shrugs. “But I warned you, Stiles.”  
Stiles nods, he doesn’t care. He’s mad for Derek, he can’t just let him die because of something that isn’t even possible to happen. He is going to do whatever it has to be done, every possibility.  
Peter writes something in a paper, and leaves it over the table. He looks at Stiles and wonders if he has done what is right, if he has done the best thing for Derek. He shakes his head, to make the thoughts of regret and remorse go away, and walks to the door.  
“You didn’t tell me what caused this to him.” Stiles says, before Peter leaves.  
“Have you read the paper?” Peter says, grabbing the door knob. “Read the paper.”  
Stiles reads the paper and turns his eyes to Peter again.  
“What does that mean?” Stiles asks, holding the paper up.  
“The only way to take it out from Derek is to be one of them.” Peter opens the door.  
“To be one of them?” Stiles raises an eyebrow. “How can I be one of them?”  
“Let the light begin to fade, let the sun begin to sleep, let the sleeps begin to stop, let the darkness begin to raise.” Peter says, slamming the door behind him.


	6. Only the Brave

Stiles sits down on the edge of Derek’s bed. Derek has been inside the bathroom throwing out black liquid for half an hour. But Stiles is too tired to pick him up this time. He is trying so hard not to tear down in front of him, he’s eating everything, all this is on him and even though it’s just been a couple of days, it sure tastes like hell.  
But the hell ain’t the condition Derek is. The hell is knowing he is going to die if he doesn’t do a reckless thing. He wants to save him so bad he’d die for him, but how would Derek react if he know about it? He can’t know. If Stiles does what Peter told him, if Stiles becomes one of them, then Derek will survive, but Stiles… how is Stiles going to survive that?  
“Are you okay?” Derek asks with a hoarse voice.  
Stiles looks above, avoiding eye contact with him. If Derek is good at something, it’s at reading Stiles emotions. There’s no doubt of that.  
“Kind of.” Stiles says, shrugging.  
Derek trudges towards Stiles and sits down next to him. Stiles looks at his face, all pale and passed out. Derek has never been worse than this, even when he was about to die, he looked better. This Derek in front of Stiles looks like if three world wars passed over him and left him in his loft.  
“How are you?” Stiles asks, showing Derek his best smile.  
“Better days.” Derek coughs. “Definitely better days.” Derek tries to find Stiles eyes, but Stiles keeps avoiding him. “Why are you avoiding me?”  
“I am not.” Stiles turns his face.  
“Oh sure you are. One year doesn’t change you at all.” Derek says.  
“Derek…” Stiles begins to say, about to tell him his plans, but he stops.  
“What?”  
“Why did you come back?” Stiles asks. This time he doesn’t want to hear his ‘because I am sick’ nor ‘because I need help’, Stiles needs to hear something else.  
“I told you.”  
“That’s one thing.” Stiles shakes his head. “I want the true reason.”  
Derek sighs, and takes a long deep breath while grabbing Stiles’s hand.  
“Stiles…” Derek says.  
“No.” Stiles cuts him. “I don’t want you to give me the same speech as you did one year ago. You never told me a shit. You just wandered around, telling me pretty stuff you knew I wanted to hear. You just said the words to comfort me. I need to hear it, I need to know I’m not doing this for nothing. That I am not wasting my time.”  
“Do you feel like wasting your time with me?”  
“No, I didn’t say that. It’s something else.” Stiles shakes his head.  
Derek puts his hands on Stiles face and forces him to make eye contact. Their eyes look at each other like they never did before, they look within their eyes, and they look within their bones and flesh. They search for a feeling that has always been there but they were too afraid to recognize, too afraid to say out loud.  
“I knew you were not the typical teenage boy the first time I saw you. I still remember the first encounters we had, those threats I used to tell you. I remember every time you saved my life. The pool. Oh… the pool.” Derek smiles. “That was a good one. You made me feel lighter, even though I was about to die. You were there for me even when I gave you my back. I hurt you, several times, more than I can even imagine, but I trust you and I trust in us. My past relationships never ended well, but I have a good feeling, despite the things going on, this will be good. This will be worth the pain, worth the tears. Every laugh, every moment we will share and every message. Everything, every little detail will be worth the pain.” He gives Stiles a soft kiss on the lips. “And if you want that much to hear it, then I’ll tell you.” He gives him another kiss. “I love you, Stilinski.”


	7. Chapter 7

“Peter, open up.” Stiles says.  
It’s been a couple of hours since Derek confessed his true love for Stiles. Stiles froze back there, he didn’t know what to say for the first time ever. He just collapsed in front of him, he collapsed in front of the only person he craves to be next to right now. He wanted to hug him but his body didn’t respond the way he would have wanted to. He just ran. And now he feels guilty for that. He feels like he wants to make it up for the year they lost but at the same time a deep hollow hole is formed in his chest, regretting the minute he froze, regretting the face he must have made while Derek said those “I love you, Stilinski”. He regrets every second of that moment and yet, he doesn’t want to go back. As if reality that he wanted so badly has turned into a living nightmare he just wants to wake up from.  
“What the hell do you want from me Stiles?” Peter says through the intercom.  
“I want to talk to you.”  
“You just discovered America for me. Can you be more specific?”  
“Please.” Stiles’s voice cracks. “It’s important.”  
Stiles hears Peter’s sighs through the intercom and waits until the door opens up.  
“All right, kiddo. I give you five minutes, no more.” Peter says and then, he opens the outside door.  
Stiles has never been to Peter’s house. He knew where it was since he met him, but being apart from Peter was the wisest decision while Derek was away. He hesitated a couple of times last year to pay him a visit but having to confront a Hale without the Hale he cared about there was just too many pain to bear.  
Peter lived in the suburbs, he built himself a great house. Three floors only for him with two parking places. He doesn’t even have a car. Stiles thinks as he walks to the front door. He waits in the front door, checking everything out there. The door opens and Peter appears on the other side.  
“I didn’t know you had that much money.” Stiles points out. “This is huge.”  
“I have my own business besides taking care of narcissist, hopeless and stupid teenage werewolves’ pack who don’t have a werewolf full pack.” He shrugs. “Come inside. Don’t touch anything.”  
“As you command.” Stiles nods while coming inside.  
Peter walks to the kitchen and offers Stiles a seat. He doesn’t want him to be there for a long time. He just wants Stiles gone. Out of his sight as soon as possible. He doesn’t dislike him, he just doesn’t enjoy the company of Derek’s boyfriend in his own house.  
“First I have to ask you a question.” Peter says.  
“Shoot me.”  
“How the hell did you find this place?”  
“I found it the day you bite Lydia.” Stiles shrugs. “I was mad at you for doing what you did so before my father allowed me to go visit her in the hospital I decided to follow you.”  
“You followed me? A werewolf? You followed a werewolf who just bite your best friend or as I should say, your long time crush?” Peter raises his eyebrows.  
“I was mad. I didn’t think wisely back in that moment.” Stiles rolls his eyes. “I couldn’t follow your track though.”  
“Then, how?”  
“I googled whatever properties Derek Hale had in this town.” Stiles shrugs again. “It wasn’t easy but eventually I found you and I found this place and boy, was I surprised to see this.”  
“I knew you were the smartest kid in Scott’s pack but that was magnificent.” Peter claps his hands one time. “Anyway, why are you here and why is it important? Is Derek dead already?”  
“Excuse me?” Stiles backs off a bit, surprised by Peter’s questions.  
“You heard me right.”  
“Derek is not dead.” He leans close to Peter, ignoring the fact that he’s still a werewolf and the most sadistic one he has ever encountered beside Kali and the crazy twins. “He is not going to die.”  
“Please, could you enlighten me with your great, majestic, mighty plan about how are you going to escape him from dying? Because I was with him a couple of hours ago and he was puking black shit mixed with werewolf blood, so please, I am excited to hear you.” Peter’s words crack. He might not be proud of Scott’s pack, he might me stupid, but he, somehow, cares about Derek even though he tries so hard to fake his toughness and his careless attitude. He wouldn’t know those things if he wasn’t checking on Derek’s condition back in the loft. He just wouldn’t say them.  
“I want to do it.” Stiles sits down again.  
“Do what?” Peter asks, he tries to sound confused but he already knows the answer.  
“Wake it up.”  
“You are insane.”  
“No, I am not. I am trying to save the ones I love.”  
“You are trying to save them at your own life.” Peter leans forward to Stiles. “Did you think about the consequences? Did you even consider the side effects?”  
“I did. I have a plan.” Stiles leans forward too.  
“Oh, the genius has a plan. Great, could you please tell me what is it about? Because I saw this thing working on someone and I can tell you upper hand, you ain’t gonna control it.”  
“I won’t. If I tell you, you won’t let me do it.”  
“Why did you come here if you are not going to tell me about your plan?”  
“Because you are the only one who will accept my deal.”  
“What deal?” Peter sounds interested.  
“You dig my grave, you put me inside. You wait out there until I wake up being changed and then, I save him.”  
“Is that a deal?” Peter smirks. “That doesn’t sound like a deal.”  
“I will tell you one thing about Lydia after I woke up from the grave.” Stiles smirks too.  
“What thing?”  
“You have to wait.”  
“When are we going to do it then?”  
“Tonight. Tonight’s a full moon. It’s tonight or we’ll have to wait.” Stiles says looking through the window.  
“I think you should think it further before doing it, Stiles.”  
“I can’t wait. I can’t see Derek die knowing for the rest of my life that I could have done something to save him and that I waited, watching his life pouring out of his own mouth.” Stiles sighs. “I love him way too much for that.”

_______________________________________________________

Stiles has been sitting in the front seat of his Jeep for almost an hour. He has been thinking about the possibilities, the different situations that what he’s about to do may bring up. He’s been staring at Derek’s loft from the outside, wondering what he may be doing, wondering if he should be up there, next to him. But he shakes his head at that simple thought. You can’t just be with him right now. He thinks. He convinces himself to get through this as fast as possible but yet, he doesn’t move.  
He has thought of calling Scott and ask help. But Scott won’t agree with him. Neither Lydia, nor Allison. No one will agree with him. He is more than aware than what he is going to do is a whole new level of insane.  
“I guess this is it.” Stiles says out loud. He is alone in his car yet he likes to hear his thoughts out loud to get them clear. “I am going to do this.”  
He takes his phone off his pocket and dials Peter’s number. He listens to the tone and waits for him to pick up.  
“Peter.” Peter says on the other line. “Are you ready?”  
“I am.” Stiles answers fast. “We go on separate cars. I am moving to the Nemeton as soon as I hang up.”  
“Ok. Same here.” Peter adds. “Are you one hundred percent sure?”  
“It’s not like I have any other choice.” Stiles sighs and hangs up the phone.  
He looks one last time at Derek’s loft and turns on the engine. His hands are shaking, his whole body shuddering. He shakes his body to stop it, but it just gets worse. He focus on the driving, to get as fast as he can to the Nemeton. To get this done before it’s too late.  
Images of Derek before he disappeared begin to flash in his mind. Then Derek sick. His stomach lurches as he tries to get those away from his thoughts. He must focus on the road. A tiny distraction could mean an end to his plan. He cannot afford that. He must get to the Nemeton.  
His phone suddenly rings. He doesn’t turn his face away from the road. Mainly because he knows it is Derek or Scott and right now, those two are best apart from him.  
He sees Peter’s car parked near the Nemeton and he parks the Jeep close to his. He jumps off the car and sees who phoned him.  
“Derek.” He whispers to himself. He feels his heart sinking but he puts away his phone.  
“Everything okay?” Peter asks, sitting over the Nemeton.  
“Yeah, why are you asking that?” Stiles keeps walking towards him.  
“It could be because of your even more pale face, your shaking hands and legs, your shivering body or because you are about to do the most reckless thing I have ever get to see.” Peter asks, smirking.  
“Reasonable.” Stiles chuckles. He is trying to hard to keep it together.  
“So we are doing this?” Peter asks again. “I know I am a little tiresome, but I don’t want you to come crying to my house, again, that you didn’t want this.”  
“You said I could get saved.” Stiles answers. “You said once I did it, I could save him and go back to normal.”  
“I said that was possible. This is not science, Stiles. This is supernatural. You cannot predict the supernatural, less the Japanese supernatural.”  
“Anyway. You are going to help me, right?” Stiles asks.  
“I think once you do it, everyone will help at saving your ass.” Peter chuckles.  
“Then, come on. Derek has called me several times and Scott too. The last thing I want now is for them to find out.” Stiles shakes his head.  
“Yes, sir.” Peter chuckles again.  
Stiles rolls his eyes at Peter. Why does he have to behave like this? Stiles thinks to himself. It’s not like he’s going to do something to save a random person. He’s going to save Derek Hale. He’s going to save one of his family. He should be more considerate and nice to him.  
“All right.” Peter says. “The hole is dug.”  
“Great.” Stiles cleans his pants. “So, how does this work?”  
“You get inside. I read the ritual while you are there. The whatever demon that’s available for you gets inside, you have magical powers all of a sudden, and bam! You can save the love of your life.” Peter explains. “Easy right?”  
“Sounds easy, but something tells me it won’t be that easy.” Stiles points out.  
“You are damn right.” Peter pushes Stiles to the hole. “Lay on the ground. I am going to throw you some of the soil over you. Close your eyes.”  
“All right.” Stiles says.  
He closes his eyes and waits for Peter to give him another signal. He tries so hard not to think of Derek, nor Scott. No one to be honest. However, an image of his dad crosses his mind and his heart breaks a bit. How could he not think of his father? How could he have done this without having a thought about him? He feels awfully bad. But he had to do this. He had to save Derek.  
“I’m going to do this!” Peter shouts.  
Stiles doesn’t open his mouth and just waits for Peter to finish the reading. He listens to him reading Japanese words and can’t help but laugh. Peter’s Japanese is not especially great, but at least he can manage to read the ritual.  
He clenches his jaw and presses his fists against his body the moment he starts to feel an urging heat through his chest. It’s not painful, it’s uncomfortable. It’s like someone is trying to fit into a space where nothing can fit. He moves his body in the grave, up and down, trying to control the need to scream his way out. He twists his body and the soil over it, cleans away. He can feel Peter’s eyes on him, watching closely as how his body is reacting to the possession.  
The heat is starting to get painful. His hands are burning, as if fire was on them, his feet are no longer his. They belong to whoever is inside of him. Then his knees, his knees burn more than even his hands are. He can’t control his screams anymore. He wants to fly away from this. He wants to shout for his life. He wants to ask for help but he knows that if he does, someone would rush over here. But he can’t keep it inside. The heat is now fire, the pain is agony. The demon inside of him is starting to fit. The demon is making him want to scream even more.  
“DEREK!” Stiles screams, but it is not the usual Stiles screaming. It’s the demon-possessed Stiles that is making the shout for help.


	8. Your love is killing me

Derek has been sleeping for almost 24 hours. But something has awaken him from his dreams. He touches the other side of his bed to find Stiles, but no one is there. He touches one more time to check, still hoping, that somehow, he’s hiding somewhere in his bed. But he is not. And he knows that.  
He grabs his phone, still on bed, and dials Scott’s number. He waits for Scott to pick up, it’s almost 4AM and he’s probably sleeping with Kira, but it’s an emergency. Stiles is in trouble. He thinks. And he doesn’t need a confirmation from anyone, he just needs help. In his condition, he can’t fight, he can’t even howl without his jaw putting him in agony to the point of passing out. He needs Scott more than ever and he needs him now.  
“Yeah?” Scott says on the other line. His voice sounds sleepy. “You know what time it is, Stiles?”  
“It’s not Stiles, it’s Derek.” Derek says.  
“Derek?” Scott sounds confused. “What’s up? Are you okay?”  
“How many times has Stiles called you at this time of the morning for you to say Stiles without even checking the ID?” Derek says, ignoring Scott’s question. He has always thought that Stiles and Scott share more than just a friendship, not a relationship, no. When he is around them, he can smell their emotions towards one and another. He can see how fond they are of each other and how protective. They are brothers.  
“You don’t want to ask that thing.” Scott chuckles. “Anyway, what are you calling for?”  
“Stiles.” Derek says, sharply. “I think he needs us. I think he got himself into trouble.”  
“W-What?” Scott stutters at the sound of Stiles being in trouble.  
“I woke up ten minutes ago and he wasn’t sleeping here, and my instincts tell me he’s not sleeping at his house either.”  
“So, what do we do?”  
“I have an idea.” Derek says. “Pick me up and we’ll go find him.”  
“I’ll be there in 10 minutes.”  
Derek throws the phone on the bed and gets up to dress himself. He can’t go through Beacon Hills, 4AM or not, on his black blood dirty pajamas. He must dress himself properly.  
After he’s done, he goes downstairs to wait for Scott. He doesn’t feel as tired as yesterday when he did this. A couple of days ago neither. He would have fainted to go downstairs, but somehow, he hasn’t lost his breath, nor his energy.  
I’m getting better. Deaton’s antidote was useful.  
Derek sees Scott’s bike through the street and waits on the road for him to pick him up. He jumps over the bike and holds himself to Scott.  
“Where are we going?” Scott asks.  
“To Peter’s house.” Derek answers. “Whenever something is wrong, he always ends up in the middle of it.”  
“Right.”  
Scott runs the bike at its high speed and they hit Peter’s house in less than five minutes. Derek doesn’t need Scott’s help to jump out of the bike, as he would have needed a week ago. He can perfectly walk without anyone’s help. He can perfectly breathe without passing out.  
“I am getting too much better.” Derek says staring at his palms.  
“I noticed. Do you think it’s Deaton’s?” Scott asks while ringing Peter’s bell.  
“I hope it’s Deaton’s.” Derek says within a sigh.  
They both wait outside for Peter to open the door. They wait for five minutes and Scott is definitely up to kick the door. Derek stops him. He knows his uncle, he knows he always makes people wait for him.  
“What are you doing here, sweetie pies?” Peter says opening the door. “It’s 4AM, you know.”  
“Where’s Stiles?” Derek asks straightforward.  
“I don’t know, he’s your boyfriend.” Peter shrugs. “It ain’t my fault if you lose him on the woods.”  
“Peter don’t shit me. I know he’s here and I know he’s done something.” Derek says as he puts a foot inside Peter’s house.  
“I can smell him.” Scott says.  
“So can I.” Derek confirms.  
“I told him you’d come.” Peter sighs, and finally, he opens the door completely.  
Derek rushes inside the house and runs upstairs following Stiles essence. He goes inside a room to find a Stiles he’s never seen before. A chained Stiles.  
“Stiles?” Derek asks, carefully. That could not be the Stiles he’s always known.  
Stiles, chained to the window, turns his face slowly towards Derek. He reveals his face, full of blood and mud. His eyes, lost and gone for a good purpose, with no soul in there. A sacrificed Stiles.  
“What have you done, honey?” Derek slides himself towards him. “Tell me you didn’t do what I think you did.”  
“P-pe-t-Peter told me you didn’t have cancer.” Stiles says, stuttering. “That someone made you like this. Some Alpha who was holding a grudge on you.”  
“Who?”  
“Deucalion.”  
“You are telling me that Deucalion caused this?” Derek is surprised. He never thought of the possibility of someone causing the disease. He just accepted the hospital report. He just accepted the diagnosis without arguing and Stiles, in a couple of days, has found more than he did in a year.  
“Yes.”  
“How did he do it?” Derek asks, caressing Stiles’s messy hair.  
“He summoned a demon to screw you from the inside.” Stiles says, shaking. “Then the demon left you like that.”  
Derek sighs and then, he holds Stiles’s hand tightly. He is afraid to ask the following question. He is afraid to face what Stiles might answer. But he’s gotten so much better since a couple of hours ago. He finally breaths like he always did. He can finally start a fight. But he is terrified of what that privilege might have cost him.  
“and what exactly did you do?” Derek asks, gathering all the possible strength from his insides.  
“You told me to help you.” Stiles’s voice cracks. “You told me you came here for help.” He’s shaking and sobbing.  
“It’s okay.” Derek holds him with both arms. “But you gotta tell me what you did.”  
Stiles stares at the floor and moves back and forth, balancing himself. He is trying so hard to avoid answering that question. If he could, he’d run. But he’s chained and for a good reason. Peter knew Derek would come sooner or later. If Peter chained Stiles, Derek could see what he did from his own eyes.  
“I summoned a demon to cure you.” Stiles finally answers.  
Derek heart stops. And so does the shaking from his love, so does the sobbing sounds he is doing. Even time stops. His arms lose strength and they no longer hold Stiles’s body. The answer he didn’t want to hear. He heard it. And as he was expecting, he doesn’t like it. He doesn’t like the fact that his boyfriend sacrificed his sanity for him. His well-being for him. For a werewolf.  
“Why did you do it?” Derek tries not to crack down in front of him.  
“I just…” Stiles hesitates. “I just couldn’t face a world without you. I just couldn’t keep seeing you vanishing every time you woke up. I just couldn’t bear the fact that one day, you might not wake up.”  
“Is there any solution to this?” Derek says.  
“No.” Stiles answers quickly. “I have to get better by myself.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“I put a demon inside my body to take yours momentary. Then, that demon came to my body because I was the one who summoned him.”  
“So, how do you take it out?”  
“I fight him back from the insides. That’s why I am chained. Because this way he cannot win. If I fight with him alone, if I don’t let him take my hope away. I’ll win. But if he does…”  
“You die.”  
“How could you let him do that?” Scott says as he pushes Peter to the wall.  
“He came begging to me, Scott! I have always been proud of that kid, he’s the smartest among you and so far, he’s the only one who has helped Derek.” Peter asks, half smirking to Derek.  
“I don’t care, I’d rather have died than watch him burn from the inside.” Derek grunts. “How could you, Peter? How could you?”  
Peter puts his hands around Scott’s and frees himself. He goes to the kitchen, Derek and Scott following him. He starts making a cup of tea and they sit on the kitchen’s table. Derek grabs the cup, controlling his inner rage. He wants to smash Peter’s head until he begs for his own life, until he takes Stiles’s place. But he’s better than that. Derek has always been better than that.  
“You know how much I have suffered and you just keep making everything worse.” Derek finally says, staring at Peter. “First it was Paige, then Kate, then Jennifer and you want to screw it with Stiles. You didn’t have enough right?” Derek’s voice cracks as he remembers each woman in his life.  
“Stiles is strong. He might be human but I haven’t met anyone like him. He summoned a bloody demon without being supernatural and if that doesn’t show you how strong he is, you are blind.” Peter replies. “Theoretically speaking, Kira was the only one on my to-summon-a-Japanese demon list. Stiles wasn’t even on my mind.”  
“Then what made you change it?” Scott says, startled by Kira’s name.  
Peter sighs, standing up from the chair and wandering around the kitchen. “You know, when we were on your loft I saw something on his eyes. I suspected about the Deucalion thing about a week ago, when you came back. And my plan was to go and talk to Kira, but when I saw Stiles… he was desperate. His eyes were on fire, pure love emanating from them.”  
“What does that mean?” Derek asks.  
“This demon… he craves love. Kira could have had summon it but it would have take weeks, Kira appreciates you but her love for you is not the same.” Peter says. “The demon came after one second of summoning him. Stiles’s actions are pure love.”  
“The demon is still inside him.” Derek replies. “How can we get it out?”  
“Only he can do it, Derek.”  
“What if he doesn’t do it?”  
“We can only guide him.” Peter shrugs. “And take care of him. Give him water and food and everything.”  
“Like a dog.” Scott says, furious. “You turned my best friend into a dog.”  
“I can’t believe this.” Derek says as he grabs his mobile phone and leaves the kitchen.  
Derek leaves the kitchen with his heart about to implode. He walks back to the living room to find that not only it’s a mess, but also, that Stiles is no longer chained to the window but sitting on the sofa, staring at the nothingness.  
The blood on his face is gone, as if while he was with Peter and Scott he cleaned himself. But there are wounds and cuts on his arms, and one big cut on his leg. He’s not bleeding, and he does not seem to be in pain. He seems gone.  
“Stiles?” Derek says, carefully. He approaches him one step after another, trying not to step over a broken object and scare him away.  
“Don’t.” Stiles says, lifting his hand to stop him. “I am not Stiles anymore.”  
“What does that mean?”  
“Stiles is gonna die.” Stiles says with a voice Derek has never heard before.  
“No, you are not going to die.” Derek keeps walking towards Stiles, ignoring the hand, ignoring his warning.  
“Don’t move.” Stiles says, flaring his nostrils.  
“I will do whatever it takes to save you.”  
“No, you won’t.”  
Stiles stands up and confronts Derek. But his eyes are not the same eyes as Derek is used to see. The gleam in his looks is gone, replaced by a blank white, an emotionless brownish colored eyes.  
“It’s funny how you two are so blind.” Stiles says, chuckling. “You love each other so much and yet, you run away from one another when you have a problem. You never told him how you really felt until you knew you were going to die. He was dying without you, but you were too selfish and he forgave you. This stupid kid forgave you after one year of nothing.” He walks towards Derek, cocking his head to the sides.  
“I came back. That’s what matters.”  
“No, that’s not. I am inside this boy’s soul. You know how bad he is? You know how many nights he has spent watching his phone just in case you called? How many nights he’s gone for a run because that’s the only way he could get you out of his head? How many days he has tried to run away from this town because every corner remind him of you?”  
Derek steps away, scared and guilty from what he’s hearing. He never thought of that. Stiles received him in an angry way but he never complained about this. He just accepted he was back and he thought everything was all right. But stiles wasn’t all right. He was still damaged as a broken glass.  
“You were so focused on finding a help that you didn’t see the obvious. Deucalion did this to you, but he was going to forgive you sooner or later. He never wanted to kill you. He just wanted you to suffer and what’s the best way to see you suffer?”  
“Stiles.” Derek whispers.  
“That’s right.” Stiles says, nodding. “You better have the banshee close to you these days.”  
“W-What?” Derek asks, confused.  
“Banshees scream when someone is about to die.” Stiles says, opening the window and putting one foot over the edge. “Maybe it’s time for someone to die.”


	9. Show me a miracle

“I’ll kill you, Peter.” Derek screams in the living room as he watches Stiles, or what seems to have Stiles’s body, leave.  
“What happened?” Scott says, running into the living room.  
“He left and he’s not him.” Derek explains. “I mean, he’s not Stiles.”  
“The demon is stronger.” Peter says, quietly.  
“I swear to god I’ll kill you when this is over.” Derek mutters, facing Peter.  
“Wise choice.” Peter cocks his head.  
“You know what to do?” Scott asks, impatiently.  
“I told you, he’s the only one who can get out.” Peter says, shrugging.  
“How? How long is this going to take?” Derek asks, furious. He can’t believe what his own uncle did to him. He blames himself for this. For leaving Stiles alone, for leaving last year. For not trusting him enough to share what was happening with him. He blames himself more than he has ever done before.  
“First, we should find him.” Scott says, putting his hand over Derek’s shoulder. “I am going to call everyone, it’s almost 6pm.”  
Derek nods and drops his body over the couch. He let him go again. He had him and he let him go. He could have run after him, but he’s not strong enough. Not as he used to be. He’s healing, whatever that demon’s doing inside of Stiles, it’s working on him. He does no longer feel his legs numb, nor his arms sleepy. He’s recovering at a speed he has never seen before. He’s recovering using Stiles’s life.  
“Why did you have to screw my life again?” Derek says, holding his tears back.  
“I did not screw your life. I saved you. Look at you, you are almost healed!” Peter exclaims with a smile on his face.  
“Do you think I’d like to live knowing that it cost Stiles’s life? Do you think that was going to be nice?” Derek says, shaking his head.  
“I always do what I do because I believe it’s the right choice.” Peter answers, offended.  
Derek stands up, leaving Peter behind, going to the front door. Scott follows him, giving him a nod, to tell him that he’s called everyone. Peter doesn’t move, he just stands in the middle of his living room, without looking back, or saying anything. He, for once, feels bad for what he’s done.  
“I only wanted to help.” Peter says, finally. A second after they leave his house.  
Scott jumps on his bike and Derek sits on the back. He doesn’t know where they are going, but he doesn’t care as long as it is away from Peter’s house. He wants to kill him and right now, he would do it if it weren’t for Stiles.  
“We’re going to save him.” Scott says, but he doesn’t sound convinced. For the first time in forever, Scott doesn’t trust himself. He doesn’t think he can save his best friend, and he knows he has to recover his hope. He knows they are lost without hope. They will have lost Stiles. Forever.  
“Something tells me this is not going to end okay.” Derek says, in a whisper.  
His voice doesn’t sound like him. He had what he most wanted a day ago. He woke up next to the love of his life, he ate a breakfast next to him. He was sick, but he was with him and they both knew they were going to be okay. But now everything’s gone. The safety is off. Stiles is missing. He is healing but his heart is dying.  
“I won’t make it without him.” Derek says, his voice cracking.  
“None of us will make it without him.” Scott says, parking his bike at the Sheriff’s station. “Come on.”  
Scott jumps out of his bike and they both run inside the station. The Sheriff stands up as soon as he sees them walk inside. He doesn’t look okay. But no one does. All of them are there already. Isaac’s there, Allison’s there. Lydia, Kira… All of them are there. And it makes Derek’s heart hurt more.  
“I’m sorry.” Derek says, looking down to the floor.  
“You don’t have to apologize for my son’s mistakes.” The Sheriff says. “I am glad to see you better.”  
Derek draws a fake smile on his face, trying to be nice to the Sheriff. He shifts his eyes to the rest of them, trying to cope with their emotions.  
“Where’s Malia?” Derek asks. Part of him knows that Malia is still living on the wilds, but she has a special connection with Stiles, and she may be the one who will be able to find him.  
“Out in the woods.” Lydia answers, rolling her eyes. “As usual.”  
“We don’t need the coyote.” Allison says, angry. “We can do this by ourselves. We can track his scent, you can track better than anyone his scent Derek. We don’t need her.”  
“But she should be here.” Derek says, confused. “The only person she tolerates is Stiles. He was the one who helped her and so she’ll always be there for him. Why isn’t she here if Stiles needs help?”  
Isaac’s face turns pale, his eyes open wide. He cocks his head a bit to the front door and touches Allison’s arm with his elbow, to warn her.  
“I know why she isn’t here.” Isaac says, still pale.  
Derek turns quickly towards the door, following Isaac’s eyes. He has to hold himself on Scott to bear what his eyes are seeing. He has to hold his breath to keep his balance. He has to close his eyes for a moment before passing out.  
“He needs help guys.” Malia says as she enters the Sheriff’s station. “I found him in the woods like this.” She bends down in front of them, leaving an injured Stiles over the floor.  
“What happened?” The Sheriff asks, shouting.  
“I don’t, I don’t know!” Malia is shaking, she’s way more shocked than the rest. But not as half as Derek is. “I found him and I brought him here.”  
“Something bite him.” The sheriff says, looking to the rest. “Something bite him!”  
The front door opens again, Derek’s eyes move from the shoes to the head to see who it is. But he already knew. His guts were telling him, screaming from the insides.  
“You didn’t turn my boyfriend into a werewolf.” Derek mutters, rage running down his body.  
“I told you I wanted to help.” Peter says, with a smirk on his face. “I helped.”  
“You wanted to help and so you turned my demon possessed boyfriend into a werewolf?” Derek asks, trying to calm down.   
Peter opens his eyes, surprised, shocked. He expected Derek to be happy, because he did it. He did what Derek’s saying, but he thought I’ll be okay. That for once he did it right. He really wanted to do it right this time.  
“I thought…” Peter says, rasping his nape, looking down to the ground.  
“You better stop thinking you piece of shit.” Lydia says, pushing him away and kneeling next to Stiles. “Is he gonna be okay?”  
Nobody gives her an answer. Derek is staring through the front door, paralyzed. This is way too much for him. He only wanted to stay next to Stiles and now, now he screwed everything. He screwed everything, Derek and only Derek. You are stupid. You not only hurt yourself but also, him. The person you love the most in this world.  
“I should have never come.” Derek mutters, in a low voice.  
“A little bit late to regret that.” Lydia says, rolling her eyes. “Now do something useful and let’s try to think what we do with him.”  
“What’s gonna happen to him?” Scott asks, shaking.  
“I don’t know.” Derek says, still staring at the front door.  
“Are you waiting for someone or what?” Isaac asks, walking up next to Derek.  
“I…” Derek begins to say, but he can’t talk, he drops himself on his knees, and puts his hands over the floor. He crawls towards Stiles’s body, laying over the floor, bleeding from his back, all dirty with mud and god knows what else. “I’m sorry.” He says, this time clearer, with tears on his eyes, ready to pool down his cheeks.  
“Don’t be.” Stiles says, sounding like his real self. “This is not your fault. It’s mine. I summoned the demon, I asked Peter for help. It’s not his fault he’s a prick and he always wants to help the worst possible way. It’s mine for taking his advice.”  
“Are you awake?” Derek asks, blinking away his tears.  
“Yes, the bite made me wake up.” Stiles leans forward to Derek, putting his arm around him, to help him sit down properly. “It kind of burns.”  
“That’s good right? I mean, my bite burned when he bite me and I’m okay!” Scott says, gesturing way too much with his hands, moving them up and down, hectically.  
“It’s a good sign yes. But that does not mean he’s gonna make it. I don’t know shit about demon-werewolves. He could turn into a sociopath or maybe worse.” Derek answers, nodding.  
“Worse like dying?” Lydia asks, one hand over her chest.  
Derek looks at her, but he doesn’t answer. He doesn’t move his head to nod, but he doesn’t shake it either. He doesn’t know what could happen to him. Being a werewolf could be good to Stiles or it could be the death to him. He’s strong and Derek knows that, but he doesn’t want to go through this again. His mother told him. Not everyone survives the bite. And he cannot take another person dying because of it. He’s lost too much already.  
“You are not going to lose me, all right?” Stiles says, chuckling. He puts a hand over his tummy and smiles to the rest of the room. “I’m okay. Just a bit dizzy and regretful. But okay.”  
“If he’s not dead already, he’s going to make it.”  
A voice comes from the front door and all of them turn their backs to see who it is.  
“Allison called me, I came.” Deaton says, kneeling in front of Stiles with a tiny flashlight on his hands. “Look at me Stiles.”  
“I don’t need this, I told you I feel okay and im gonna be okay.” Stiles says, moving his head a bit.  
Deaton insists and Stiles finally gives in, sighing on the way. He lets Deaton inspect him, his eyes, and then his mouth. He doesn’t know what Deaton’s looking for, but he lets him do it anyway. If that’s going to please Derek, then he’s going to do it.  
“He seems fine.” Deaton says, standing up.  
“What about the demon?” Derek asks, curious. “Peter said only he could take him out.”  
“He took him out by himself. The bite triggered Stiles to wake up, and when he was awake, he torn him apart.” Deaton explains. “So I think we should all thank Peter?” he makes a weird gesture with his hands, followed by a grinned face. “Kind of.”  
“I am not thanking him.” Lydia says, going out of the Sheriff Station.  
“What’s wrong with her?” Peter asks, confused.  
“Dickhead.” Allison says, following Lydia outside.  
Scott and the rest follow them outside, leaving Derek, Deaton, the Sheriff and Stiles alone inside.  
Derek is still holding Stiles’s hand, he doesn’t care anymore. He just wants him. Near him. He wants to feel his heart beating, as it used to do. But his heart seems changed. It beats at a pace he never sensed before and it’s scary. Because that raced heart can only mean one thing.  
“He’s turning into a werewolf.” Derek says, pity on his voice.  
“How do you know that?” The Sheriff asks, startled.  
“His heart. His heart is changing and he smells different.” Derek explains. “I’m sorry, this is my fault. I never wanted him to become a werewolf.”  
“I never wanted him either, but if that saved his life… I don’t care.” The Sheriff shakes his head. “Should we take him home?”  
“Definitely.” Derek answers, grabbing Stiles and holding him between his arms.  
_______________________________________________________________  
One month later.  
“Derek! Derek!”  
Derek opens his eyes, rubbing his hands over them, trying to wake up without his hyperactive boyfriend jumps over the bed like he always does.  
“What do you want now, Stiles?” Derek asks, preparing himself for the jump.  
“I made you breakfast.” Stiles says, jumping over Derek and putting his hands on the side of his body. “Ready?” Stiles smiles, raising his eyebrows funnily.  
“Not again, not today Stiles.” Derek moans, putting his hands quickly over Stiles’s.  
“Oh yeah, sour wolf.” Stiles chuckles and then, he proceeds with the usual morning routine. “Tickling attack!”  
Stiles starts his tickling attack and Derek tries, as he’s been trying for a month, to escape from him. But now that Stiles is stronger, it’s harder for him to get away from his hands and his tickling fingers. But today he feels different, he lets Stiles do his tickling and when he’s finished, he hugs him tightly.  
“What’s this for?” Stiles asks, returning the hug.  
“I am sorry for everything.” Derek says. “And I love you.”  
Stiles’s face draws a smile automatically after hearing those words. Derek hadn’t told him those three words since he’s a werewolf and he was scared that he might not love him now that they are equals.  
“I love you too, sour wolf.” Stiles says, and then, he gives Derek a kiss, a gentle but powerful kiss on those lips he always craves so much. And then he pulls away, but Derek pushes him towards his body and he wraps little and not anymore defenseless Stiles, around his arms.  
And Derek kisses every inch of his skin, from the forehead to his navel, to his cheeks and to his hands. Derek kisses and loves every inch of Stiles.  
“I am never gonna let you go again.” Derek says, kissing Stiles one more time.


End file.
